Tag Archives: Define American

Home Again

ize: large;”>Most of my friends are away

at camps or vacations. I am feeling quite lonely. It’s summer time. Things are suppose to be happening. I am suppose to be traveling.

Or working.

 

But I can’t. I am undocumented. It’s been hitting me hard lately. Sure I know there are others like me out there, but they are probably also thinking the same thing. There’s nothing we can do about it. Not that I know of anyway.

 

I remember checking Twitter or Facebook at times and kept seeing some article about a big name journalist writing about immigration. At first I thought to myself, what can he say already. What more can he add that I didn’t know. But I decided to read it anyway.

 

It was a story of freedom. Here he was Jose Antonio Vargas, on top of the journalism world coming out to the world telling them he is undocumented. I was wowed. At first I was thinking this guy is crazy. Absolutely nuts. Sure, he can’t travel the world, but he has a job, he is a big name writer, people respect him and he is throwing it all out.

 

But then I remembered reading it and crying. Here is a guy who is freeing himself. Here’s a guy who been living a lie, but no longer able to handle the guilt. He decided he must do something. And so do I.

 

At this point in my life, I am pretty open about my immigration status and yet I felt locked up due to it. I am a pretty energetic individual. I have ideas. I have passions. I have so much I want to share with the world but I can’t. I am locked up. But reading that article I realized I don’t have to be.

 

I wanted to learn more. So I started researching about Jose and saw him all over the news. I was obsessed with his story. His story is my story. I wanted to know who else is out there.

 

Watching YouTube videos about various undocumented stories, people coming out and asking for a higher standard of living. Senator Durbin and others speaking week after week sharing stories about people like me. MY STORY IS BEING TOLD.

 

Except it wasn’t. I remembered saying to myself look at all these brave people out there, what can I do? How can I serve?

 

After reaching out to Jose and developing a relationship with him, he invited me to come join the photo shoot for TIME Magazine. I was shocked. People really doing this I asked? Aren’t they afraid of you know, the big D word (deportation)? At first I made an excuse (though it was legit) that I had a previous engagement. But I was scared. I was going skydiving for the first time in my life.

 

After thinking about it for a bit, I said “Jose, I’m coming home!”.

 

Walking into that studio on the day of the photo shoot, there were so many emotions going on in my mind. First being in a room with so many undocumented people. I felt like home. I felt like I belonged. It felt like being part of a community very much like my Jewish community.

 

It was then I realized, and I cried silently, that I was not alone anymore. So many memories were passing through my mind. Thinking back to my Yeshiva school days when my principal at the time, Rabbi S., and how he would go out of his way to make sure I was included in trips during my high school years and even changed destinations to do so. Recently I had the opportunity to speak to my principal, a man I am forever grateful for and we started laughing about it. He said to me “Roy, you are the apple of our (the school) eyes. It pains me what you going through but you were going to be a part of us all the time”. 

 

I started thinking about my religion. How no matter my “status” in life, I am still a Jew and loved by all. How I can still pray in the same synagogue as any other American Jew. How I can pray freely in a country that welcomes religion. How I study the same Torah no matter my background. How I was part of everyone else.

 

I felt at home, again.

 

Walking around meeting other undocumented people I also felt out of place. Here’s these remarkable individuals who are doing something about it. Some look foreigners. Some look American in every sense of the word. Heck, one has such a typical southern accent that I thought Paula Deen was in the house.

 

They are fighting for the cause. Many of them college graduates and just want the opportunity to give back the country they love dearly.

 

I knew I had to do something and I realized this photo shoot was the TIME to do so.

 

Filling out the “photo release application”, I saw they were asking for my home address. I hesitated. It was a bit much. Taking a sneak peak at the others and seeing how comfortable and quickly they filled out their’s, I realized, this is doing something. I threw out the first application and proudly put in my address. 

 

Standing there while the pictures were taking, I looked around and smiled.

 

What would my parents think? What would my friends think? I didn’t tell anyone yet. Would they accept me for fighting for what I believe in? Would they stay away from me now that I am even more public about it. Will I be, “D”eported? I don’t know.

 

But it doesn’t matter.

 

I am among the bravest people I know. People who could have stayed hidden but no longer wanted to. People who are doing this BEYOND the DREAM ACT. They are adding a face to a otherwise faceless battle. For me, this fight is to let others know, they are not alone. To let others know it is a struggle but there’s many more of you out there. We can still live a remarkable life. To let others know they have a home if they want it.

 

To let other Jews who may be undocumented, some of who I know, that there’s more to all of this. That there’s another home to go to.

 

Yes, I am fearful, I don’t know what is ahead. But I also know that doing nothing is scarier. I also know that doing this will allow others to come out and feel at home.

 

Yes, standing there at the photo shoot I realized I am home, again.